Optimism is for losers. There’s a story behind that. This is your daily message from Chad #657 to upgrade your mental game so you can tell yourself a better story today, because the most important story you hear is the story you tell yourself. This message is dedicated to the birthday girl Aubreigh Ellis. Happy birthday Aubreigh!
Admiral James Stockdale is an American hero. He was one of the most decorated officers in US Navy history. He spent 7 1/2 years as the highest ranking prisoner of war during the Vietnam War. 4 years in solitary confinement. 2 in leg irons. He was tortured 15 times. He said if given the chance he would not trade the experience. What kind of story does a person have to tell themselves to endure that kind of hell?
He would tell you it wasn’t keeping his glass half full. It wasn’t naive optimism. In fact, he would say optimism is for losers. Well, maybe not in those exact words, but in Jim Collins’s classic book Good to Great, he interviewed Stockdale and explained the story he told himself as a prisoner of war. Stockdale told Collins, “I never lost faith in the end of the story, I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.” Collins asked him who hadn’t made it out of Vietnam, to which Stockdale replied: “Oh, that’s easy, the optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.” Whether you’re a glass-half-full type of person and glass-half-empty doesn’t hold water (see what I did there?) when confronted with the pain, uncertainty, and harsh reality that life often presents. Stockdale did not frame his situation as his glass was half-full. He was the tap. He maintained his power.
Stockdale explained what went through his mind when his plane was shot down and he knew he would be taken captive. It was his philosophy. He knew there were some things within his power and things beyond his power. He would have to focus on his controllables. This dovetails with the story we looked at yesterday from Viktor Frankl, who endured the horrors of a World War II concentration camp, who said “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” What core beliefs do you have top of mind so you have more than naive optimism to maintain your tranquility and courage when your plans are shot down.
You can tell me the stories you tell yourself by emailing at fromchadsmith@gmail.com. You can find these messages on YouTube by searching @fromchad. You can read the transcript of this message and hundreds of others at fromchad.com.
