I came across this list from the Counseling One Another blog. Jamie and I went through these and were embarrassed at how many of these we have committed. We printed a copy of these out and put it on the fridge. Over the past week, we have stopped each other (mainly her stopping me) in the midst of interactions with the girls and said, “I think that’s on the list.” Obviously, every time our kids don’t like a situation or statement we make, doesn’t mean their reaction is our fault. But, there are many times we needlessly make things hard on them, thus instigating an angry reaction.

Here are 25 common ways we do this from the book The Heart of Anger by Lou Priolo.

1. Lack of marital harmony
2. Establishing and maintaining a child-centered home
3. Modeling sinful anger
4. Habitually disciplining in anger
5. Scolding
6. Being inconsistent with discipline
7. Having double standards
8. Being legalistic
9. Not admitting you’re wrong and not asking for forgiveness
10. Constantly finding fault
11. Parents reversing God-given roles
12. Not listening to your child’s opinion or taking his or her ‘side of the story’ seriously
13. Comparing them to others
14. Not making time ‘just to talk’
15. Not praising or encouraging your child
16. Failing to keep your promises
17. Chastening in front of others
18. Not allowing enough freedom
19. Allowing too much freedom
20. Mocking your child
21. Abusing them physically
22. Ridiculing or name calling
23. Unrealistic expectations
24. Practicing favoritism
25. Child training with worldly methodologies inconsistent with God’s Word